Strange, feels like ... well, feels ... I don't know.
I talk to him today.
His voice had a soothing effect on my unquiet soul.
So much I reached flat line in no time.
And I'm still flat. Sometimes happy, mostly when I think of him, his eyes, his smile, his cat.
Sometime I wonder if I would .... well, that's not the point.
Marriage is legal in Canada, it's a pitty, want to marry me?! jajaja.
Crazy stuff.
It's good I guess, somehow I learnt from this event.
I well, so fine and mellow.
So here I am, trying to get drunk with orange juice
listening to Billie Holiday
whispering to my ears
"So fine, and mellooowwww"
I wonder, I admire this guy. Wish ... well.
"So fine, and mellowww"

It had to be youuuu
It had to be youuuuu
I wonder ...

I should stop listening Billie,
make wish I'm dancing cheek to cheek
with him.

Crazy stuff, I'm sure he's a good dancer.
once he get over all that "body contact" stuff jajaja.

Well, a truth: I want someone to dance Billie Holiday's songs.
Truth: I want to wake up in the middle of the night with someone by my side.
Lie: I want to be alone, it's my nature to be alone, I don't need anyone else to be complete.
Truth: I believe that lie.

It has to be youuu
Wonderfull youuu

Should stop listening Billie, for my own sanity :-)


I had decided to erase his phone number.
A and R want me to courtship him jajajaja
Courting, I hadn'd done that in eons.
Wonder, I never need it, I was the one object of interest.

Now, I'm just like anyone else.
Well, he seems to have reached all his goals.

I'm leaving for a love supreme.
All the places I have been trying to find a love supreme.

So, what he can wish in someone like me?!

The son of nobody.
Sold by a peasant father in a drought year.
My line is and old one but ends with me.

Bagoas, wonder
Where's the Persian boy book,
Couldn't find it.
When I feel alone enjoy reading it.
Wishing I could have the love that existed between Bagoas and Alexander.
But then
This is not Persia
500 BC
This is a latin third world country.
Between two seas
and two continents.
And I'm one in 2 million.
on the third floor of a three stories building
With a balcony to the street
To the people down there.
To the earth.
An incandescent lamp.
2 dogs.
There's nothing here
But what's here is mine
every me, and every you.

Sucker love.