Stream of conciousness...

What's so important to love someone. I'm planning T's party on saturday and I realized today while thinking on the amount of people in the trip and the Bar what if I've a panic attack there, my heart started running amok. I'm thinking on skipping it.

This has become serious, at the beginning it was just something I could control with a quick zen, but now it takes over so much I'm for all purpouses entrenched at home avoiding all personal contact with people outside.

I know that if I don't take this seriously next stage would be my total inability of leaving home.