The Journal Entries

Journal Entries: Love, sexuality and devotion.

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Location: Caracas, Distrito Federal, Venezuela

Wednesday, June 19, 2002

Well, let's be truth to ourselves,
The first one really loves this man
yes, we know, but he doesn't talk too much, just weeps by the fire
It's awfull to lose everything you love again and again
yep, it's awfull
well, we can fight against a all inclusive trip to colombia
Remember Ruben?
yep, same stuff, all the men we fall in love are the same?!!
seems so
they care all about the money, the position, ufff :-(
we don't have money, nor position, nor conections, do we have something worth? jajajaja
only ourselves
yep only ourselves, and him, the one who weeps
we are the only thing he owns
must be really sad to be him
we are part of him
but not him
he doesn't allow us to reach him
someone here remembers the last time he talked to us?
a long time ago
he's turning into a shell again
maybe that's for better
here were are, trapped like the sailors in the flying dutchman
trapped inside his mind
and him trapped inside himself
sometimes I weep for us
we are here because he created us
do you think?
the old one theorizes that we came into being after a major breakdown
he, himself his first memories are from the fire, we waked up and there was the fire, and he didn't knew whatever happened
we don't share our memories, the third one lived his adolescence ignoring the existence of the first one, even the one who weeps
until the crack
yes the crack
then we all came to see each other at the circle
he created us, I'm sure of it, he knows us from our true names
is he sentient that he spawned us?
how nico came to being?
I woke up one day, and I was nico, and I must protect the one who weeps, that's all I knew at that time
and you need sex jajaja
yep, I needed a lot of sex
we are so lonely and the circle nowadays is so dark we can't see far beyond the grieve fields
even the grieve fields have growing colder
the open space and the howlers are quiet
it's like the end of the universe
we shall recove control
who's in control anyway, it's like this mind is in automatic
we can see what's happening but we cannot longer take course of action
maybe it's a new one?
but why we can see him? why he don't talk with us?!!
maybe is the one who weeps?
no, he hasn't moved in a while, he's frozen
who's in charge then?

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