.
Second week in the Island in the Sun
Couldn't see J as often as I would like to do.
But I've so much things to do and so little time.
One week since I said " I don't want it" since then
Enlightment since to have go out of my grasp
I can no longer feel joy or love for all things
I feel numb
I feel no longer disassociation of my body
I feel human again
I miss that feeling
was so comforting in the bad days
But now I'm on my own
The Buddha's had turned their attention to more promising souls.
In more earthly matters
JG have me blocked of his messenger
Not a single email or answer
As Dido's song
When is over is over
Wish I could have that strenght
But then we already know what was behind his mask
and behind that was a better one
But he can't let his true colours show
And I never tried to reach
So, part is my fault
That's a life I couldn't change for the better
J loves my company
I wonder why
I don't feel nothing special
But I know he cares and I care too
About he and J and their impending marriage
Yesterday we went to have dinner
I hope he enjoyed my company
I'm not sure I'm a good company
A failed God never is good company for a human
My time here is like a purge or healing
No temptations near
Just peacefull boredom
No drugs, no sex, no alcohol
Just plenty of sun and water to soothe my soul
Babylon seems so far and away
It's probably for a soul to cleanse all his deeds??
