M. XI

 
I'm not sure why I feel this way.
Nor I know what's the effect.
What's the poise.
 
How can I use this information in our pursuit of hapiness.
The double sided sword that would cut both ways.
So staying in the edge is the usual form of keeping alive and sane.
 
Let love lead the way.
Let brain do the math.
Let sex overrun morality.
 
Show them the supreme world
of eternal leissure and indulgence.
 

M. X

I'm listening to Enigma's Voyageur
The sultry vocals seems to take my mind to a far away place
A place where I can forget
But what I want to forget.
 
I have been seeing M. all these days.
There's no single day passed without being with M., chatting or Fucking.
 
Once I wrote about M. that some things are beyond our grasp.
 
Now I feel like I don't want to grasp at anything.
 
There would be no salvation.
 
What kind of monster in human skin I am.
Who betrays it's own nature in exchange of a sel-deceived love.
 
 
I'm deceiving my own by sure. I want to see patterns in M. that are not just there.
For M. I'm just a good fuck.
For K. M is a good fuck.
But's also a lonely and far away star K can't reach nor hold hope of grasp.
 
And I have to see M. every day
Not showing what my heart feels.
Even lying to myself.
 
At least now I know I won't be heartbroken.
The Love window oportunity with M passed behind and I'm free of it.
 
Somethings shouldn't go beyond their genesis.

M. IV

We laid next each other.

I thought: K, my dear, that's the closest you will be to have a "partner moment" with M. so i started to ask him silly questions while I played with my fingers in his back, an action he seemed to enjoy a lot. He was falling asleep, I said: I must go. He got to me and we hug together, he skin was cold and mine was hot, it felt so good. His manhood started to grow again, "You are amazing, how long ago you didnt' fuck??", "A lot" he replied. "I want you to come" he said. And put me in my fours, next to the edge of the bed. It hurted more this way, it hurted, and he was insatiable, as if the mere tought of me leaving his home would leave him without knowing a different inch of my inner space, he moved, and pounded, and raised and well, there were parts of my inner body I didn-t realized can be touched and he was touching them all, that amazing manhood of his. I came, in a big uproar, almost a raw cry, it was so intense as M's fuck, he came too.

He gave me his cell phone number, and gave me a kiss on the cheek, I did the same.

Anyways, to be faithfull to my own law. He was discarded as a possible even since his liason with T while T and I were partners. But that can't keep out the pain of knowing that some things are not meant for us, and M. is beyond my grasp.

M. III

I tried to touch M, he didn't move. Nor reacted to. I looked to J, he gave me a reassurance wink.

We went for the dinner and chated, certainly M's talk as J. said.

I just tried to conceal my smile the best I could.

Time to go.

I say goodbye to J and J and M.
M said he had to go to so he would leave with me.

In the elevator he put me a hand on my hip, "Did you enjoy it??" he asked, "yes, and you?" I replied. "It wasn't obvious!!" he said and both smiled.

He was still horny and asked me to go to his place.

I said yes jajaja, bitchy me.

There were no more introductions
It was pure, raw, amazing sex
It was a pitty there wasn't love involved, that would made the experience for me complete. For him I guess I was just a good fuck, he was the fuck I was awaiting for all this years, silly me. Some guys have all the good luck to catch guys like M. He looked in heaven while he pounded me with his eyes closed, so it gave me time to watch him, really watch him, his features were soft but manly, a squared jaw with 5'o clock beard, white with some tan, his chest, short even it looks masive when he has his clothes one, his head is big, and he's loosing his hair, his chest is not very hairy, just a patch in his pectorals, a little overweight, nice legs and well, that monstrouos manhood he's gifted with.

It hurted so bad I have no more bad words to said so I just hit the bed at the same cadence that his pounding of my ass.

Finally he came, we was worried I didn't came yet. I said I couldn't under the circunstances. He said sexually speaking he enjoyed me more. Sexually, I tought, that's his way of saying there non plus ultra. Well I knew when I started this game.

I wonder if it would be different If I had approached him before. But then, who lives.

M. II

I was amazed of the raw force of M's lovemaking.
I was being literally plundered, raped, abused and at the same time when he turned me so he can fuck me the missionary way he stoped, I was scared of his force, his passion, he stopeed for what it seemed a nanosecond, went all the way in, brought me to his chest and planted a kiss on my lips, a M's kiss. His face looked warm, almost worried, "Does it hurts?" he asked. I said "Yes", te took me in the air and put me down as I were a mere toy, put my hips up and started the pounding again, stronger, forcefull, as if it were the last fuck of his life, and then he started to came, I could feel it, his monster dick twitching inside of me, deep inside,he hugh me so hard I thought I couldn't breath, my breath an his were like one, he planted a kiss on my back and removed himself of my body. Ilied there, wondering, a fuck like M could be addictive to me, I wake up and went straight to the shower without saying a thing, I let the hot water run over my body. I had M's, but had lost any chance of being with him at the same time.

M.

I still remember the first time I saw M.
He was gay in the gay original sense of the word. Handsome, not very tall, an air of confindence and shyness. I found him cute.

That was years ago. M. happened to be another one in the line of T's bed. So I discard by association anything that could possibly make a liasion with him.


Yesterday J invited me to his place for dinner.

M. was there.

I found it awkward since in J's dinner usually the dessert is a quick fuck.

I wish I could describe it, I was scare sure, there by my side was someone I wanted for so long and at the same time hated, I wasn't even sure I was pleasant to him.

J and I started doing our stuff, I missed J so much so I forget about M and J. I closed my eyes and focus on J's dick moving inside my mouth, in hearings his moanings. I feel a hand introducing itself between my thights. Cold cream being applied to my hole, I saw M's dick beforhand, sleept, and it was hughe. I looked to J with some aprehension, J was very excited and gave me a wink. I felt M's arms separating my legs, his body weight over mine, he's mouth saying hot things as whispers in my ears as the fat head of his monstrouos manhood started to push it's way in. It hurted like hell, I moved and take him off my back, I could see stars literally. J said I should relax, M tried again, this time past the initial pain I felt it slip all the way inside, till his cold balls rested again my butt.