A

I'd seen A in a couple of movies. He's such a hot man. A very long and thick manhood. It reminds me of M's. Almost four months now! I'm wondering how long I can keep going with it.

A handful and a mouthful

There's something weird about M's attitude. Something just doesn't click and I'm not sure what it is but I'm quite sure T has something to do with it. So far just keep face until I learn what's going on.

E, mmmm, this game of concealed cat and dog is getting boring. I know he knows what I want, and I'm sure what he wants, but we instead choose to keep the tension high, how long before someone else notice we basically invade each other space, basically our bodies frolicking together "accidentally", his warm cock growing against my leg, my back or wathever place the situation puts on while he just smile and I just smile back. When I'm going to taste your flesh my cute rusky.

Distance travels roads but no distance. It seems sometimes I'm not sure how far I'd been rowing. It seems it all was my imagination. Why I'm trying to spoil my relation with D with stupid jealousy?!!

Spilled milk...and not the one I wished for

Just finished posting my thoughts and E came over to ask for my office keys. Quite interesting indeed. Tic Toc Tic Toc...

Whatever, I won't cry over spilled milk. Let's enjoy my newfound liberty.

Cheers,

On icy stares..

While half my brain muse about the possibility of a flesh encounter with my fellow companion I'm wondering the nature of the icy display. It can be traced back a day after the event. While some had improved, it seems it follows the pattern adscribed.

I need some spice to deal with whatever is coming my way.

About weird dreams and sex

As I approached the gate R told me she needed to talk with me. M rushed in, saw me, and then rushed back.

A strange vibe is in theair.

Past night I dreamt of buddhist monks walking around a round table where my body lied. In fact the body didn't look like me but I knew it was me somehow.

Just imagen my tongue slapping between his soft mounds of flesh.

D wanted me to jack off this morning. I wasn't in the mood for it. Why?

Two diet coke bottles in his bathroom yesterday. They weren't there when I left early morning. And supposedly he spent all day at the hotel.

he has a small chest, nothing big, he's a small man anyways.

He smells of old age cologne. But in fact is one of those new brands.

There were a few men I saw yesterday while walking with E that made me yawn for the freedom of the older days. But I also noted the effect old age is taking on those I used to fancy. Time is cruel with male beauty.

Could be there anything more sexy that a male "fixing" his crotch? hehehe

Why I feel sometimes numb about having sex with D. I feel something is missing. The thrill of the first days. Maybe I'm thinking too much.

M against shows up at the door and look silently at me. I'm wondering what's going on.

Or well, I can preclude.

Returning to D. Why I seem to be as engaged as I should.

Just as he seats, his legs open wide, his arms crossed at the back of his head, his crotch fully expossed. How can I ressist temptation.

Could it be that sweet scent he carries around making one to yearn of getting lost in it while taking possesion of such a fine man.

I was wondering the nice feeling of having a strong body wanted to be loved.

D, Third Period

My economy is at a low bottom. Just short of bankruptcy. This is putting a strain in our relationship.

He looked with suspicion to my wallet this evening trying to see I guess, how much money I had there.

When I suggested we go to Delsa's tonight. He told we should stay because we want to go to Ferry Corsten next week.

I tried to pick up a movie but he wasn't interested at all, just at my side to comply with my wish. Even more, he kept a big distance between me and him, odd since we usually share the same space when in public. I felt he was trying to pretend he wasn't with me at all.

We got home, when I went to pick up the shirts in the back he stopped me and took mine out of the bulk.

Then he picked up the bag he took out of my clothes yesterday night and told me that was Alia's pee pads he told me about. Yesterday I saw him taking them out of the bag with my clothes and putting them in the back of his car. Probably he balked when he learnt Teddy picked up Alia that night.

I thing this is over. I love him, but I know how hard is for a partner when the other is economically bad and I don't want him to trow that at my face later as T did.

I predict he would start to cut expenses and dinners with me and would start to have to work late more and more.

In order to free him from doing so, I'm going to start working late. I know probably is not the best move. But as E said to me once: "If he's going to leave, he's going to leave, better sooner than later"

What was more hurtful was what he did at the Blockbuster.