Today I'm going to meet with O.
Why I can feel that stir for O.
:-(

I meet this guy when I was leaving the Disco.
I took him home.
While we fucked I thought why I need that.
I have wonderful male companions to choose from.
Why I keep hunting?
Why I just can't seem to stop?!

I went to the disco with C
I wonder what C has in mind.
I went home earlier.
It was a bad trip for me.
And he had something else on target anyways.

I saw A the night before yesterday.
Even in the real world he's so far as in the emotional landscape of my heart.
I still feel I can love him forever.
But then, nobody waits forever.

A is coming back to mi life.
Secondary effect caused by my relationship with C.
Would be A jealous??

Interesting.

This weekend I meet C.
C. is from C.R.
C. is 27 years old.
C. leaves with his ex-partner
I spent the weekend at his place.
It was cool.
C. is not straight.
He's smoking pot every 15min.
But he's cute.

Yesterday night I went to the Disco to find C.
C. was with another man.
It hurts

Well, I'm the one to blame.

End of the tale of C.

It incredible the ways of human nature, it's amusing sometimes.
New year was hell.
But hey, it's over.

Resolutions for this year?
I hadn't a chance to think a single one.

Focus on building myself a career.

Focus on cultivating friends of diverse background.

Focus on building myself what A told me I should do.

Focus on finding for myself a good woman and a good man.

Focus on having sex more often.

Focus on being more pragmatic.

Focus on acquiring the traits I still lack.

Well, as it things couldn't be worse this new year.
J & I tried to hit with the same man.
And we both succeeded, this is a crazy world.

I'm still blue.
The angst would start to pour as soon as I left myself unguarded.
I'm just in the verge of crying every 15min.

I feel as the most conspicuos grain of dust in the universe.
But then, as I was seeing myself like that His words came to me: "I'm the first-born of the universe, I'm older than the gods, I'm immortal, I'm made of star dust"

But Vishnu cannot be wishpering at my ears from time to time.
Had tried to do some sazen but with the family around, well, I can't.

My sister spoke with mom about the relationship between T. & I.
That worries me, that comments would reach home.
And far apart would initiate a cascade of events that were foretold.

I knew it was a mistake to bring them in in this stage.
The seed of doubt has been planted.

It's a curse to have second sight.
Wish I could see the good things
But I'm only able to see what's going to be awry wrong.

But as he said when I asked why.
I'm here to bore my children.

This mind of me is running so fast
I'm wondering if my time line is moving so fast I'm not able to see the crash
but the pieces just floating in mid air