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A year from starting my current relationship and some stuff had going up and some stuff down. Fix my financial situation so I'm more stable right now. After a crush, an unrequited love, a broken heart and a fatal attraction this has been the most lousy and boring year. Every new man that gets into my life since a copy of someone else I'd dated before, even the ones trying to sell themselves as unique are just posers.

I'm having a boy toy I play from time to time, well, as he says, he's having a relationship with my dick, he and I are just friends, go figure, well, at least I'm poking into a nice ass but again zero intimacy, I'm craving for true intimacy but the current prospects are just not worth the time.

I'm more convinced I'm looking for a surrogated father, put on a table all my lovers and the trend that emerges is that they are a lot older of me, all are my "prototype" of the perfect old man/grandpa/father/mentor idea and they all tend to protect me at some point.

A straight friend is trying to develop more intimacy but I'm just not into it, I think I'll screw it up and end screwing him, I want a perfect g0y I know I can relate without necessarily bugging him, but at the end, we are just flesh and blood.