Half my life...

I was walking with T when a Car stopped by in front of us and a girl tried to get into the car in a hurry, I tried to avoid her and then I was awash with a feel of longing, I turned towards the source, the driver of the car, half hidden behind the smoked glass when the lights of another car lightened his features, that bearded face I love so much was staring at me, my heart ached and I forced myself to stop looking and keep walking, with half my life about my ways...

A.E. Housman:

"He would not stay for me, and who can wonder?
He would not stay for me to
stand and gaze.
I shook his hand and tore my heart in sunder
And went with
half my life about my ways."

G.

I was going into the Mall when I catch a bubble butt a couple of meters in front of me, it looked very full and sexy, reminded me of E's butt. It belonged to G, a 62 years old guy visiting from Hamburg. My cock sprung to live when the handsome old guy looked at me and winked. I was hanging out with some friends, so I was barely alone to make a move, we exchanged an understanding glance half hope half resignation.

When my friend finally got in line to get into the movie I made my move, asked the ticket guy for a pen and wrote my number in a piece of paper, I walked along the hallway where G was waiting, gave him the piece of paper under the astonished eyes of the ticket guy who tought I had confused my door.

G called next day, we went for some beers, I can't bed someone if I don't like it as a person and G did a great work on keeping me interested with his stories about living in Hamburg, we got home, my erection was so painful I got stark naked as soon as I went into my room, G went down on his knees and started to suck my dick, the old guy looked in latin heaven, I order him to take his clothes off while I went to the bathroom to pick the condoms and the KY, when I returned to the room G was naked, all white, only the right amount of fur in his chest, the rest totally smooth, I smiled and turned him down to see his ass, beautiful sight, hard and round, as I'd imagened it to be, smoothie, I slaped it, it turned pink, good, it was going to be quite a fuck.

He wanted to top me, but no way, I wanted to taste him first, started teasing him with my fingers while I kissed him, he was warm and wet, ready for some cock, my buddy down there got flooded with new blood so fast it painfully increased its girth, I turn on my back, keeping my buddy straight called G, "come one, want a ride?", and did he ride, I was scared the sweet guy would drop dead of an heart attack, we took a break, his cock was small but fat, I played and teased it until he begged me to stop or he'll cum, my own was ready for more action I put his legs to rest on my chest, his delicious butthole exposed, it gave way easily, already open from our previous game, this time around I didn't stop, I kept hammering while the guy got red, pink but he won't stop me he was panting a lot more heavy and I was ploughing more and more deeper, feeling in the verge of coming I rammed him once more, muffling my moans using his mouth I wasted on top of him, savoured the tingling aftershocks and felt at his side, the room filled with the smell of manmilk his and mine, I hugged him and put his head atop my chest wondering if E's butt would be this satysfying , it has to be, its built the same, I bet more sturdy and with its own architectural challenges, E's belly is far bigger. He felt asleep a short afterwards, I moved out of the bed, went into the bathroom to wash my cock and get rid of the condom, I love the way my body looks after a heavy session, my dick started to grow again, I jacked off until I came again, that much horny I was, G still was sleeping, I admired his body, well built for such an old guy, I'd to work but I could get another test drive, we had three more test drives that night, of course, I didn't did any work.

Gay Bashing

The first time I experimented what was like to be harassed because you being different, it wasn't happening to me, but I felt it as personal as if I was the one being bashed. That filled me with terror of those different to me, aprehension, suddenly all humans were potential enemies.



But when you are the target, and when the bashers are people you respect, it's heartbraking, you feel yourself worthless, and worst, guilty for being different.



I was in my usual waterhole, since almost a month the behaviour of one of the regulars towards me had changed, he always seems to have some animosity towards me but the owner of the bar would just handle it. I gave no importance to that, had more serious things to deal with.



Yesterday, I was in my usual self-analysis, sat in one of the bar couches while reading a book, I do noticed the conversation in russian was very animated and sometimes the eyes of the people there would look at me, some expressions, disregarding the language, are common in all human cultures, it was obvious soon what was the source of the joke.



I gave it not second thoughts, I kept my reading. H, the guy that seems to be more outspoken came to the bar later, again, he started blunting, but I ignored it, a friend's brother came to the bar later, we started talking and I could hear the giggles and jokes behind my friend's back but couldn't see, in one instance my friend moved and I catch E doing a sign behind our back, I felt sick, one thing was a guy I don't care about,a goy as I'm concern, another thing is someone I respect deeply, someone I indeed considered human, one like me. I went to the bathroom to throw up, we left the bar.

Why E did that, I only can imagine he just had to go with the flow, but that hurt more than anything H could'd said since this concealed harassment started.

I guess Julius Cesar felt the same when he recognized Brutus among those killing him.

I felt this H guy is capable of going physical, I recognize the hate is his face, the fear, I'm a jew, I know fear.

I gave thanks this morning for 5 things in my 43things blog but I kept part of the sentence in each:

1.For being alive (despise some people wishing otherwise).
2.For being able to love (desping being hated because I'm different).
3.For being able to tell the difference (between friends and foes).
4.For being able to see (the truth behind the facades).
5.For being able to hear ( my own voice).


I'm bisexual, my gay brethren despises me, my straight brethren despises me, I'm in the middle and belong to none, how ironic, all mankind is my enemy then?

Potrillo

I don't even know his name. But is enough to see his number showing up in my cellphone screen at 2:00am to get me salivating and my crotch aching. When that cloth of flesh draps over me, so beautiful in its manly perfection, its manhood proudly pointing upwards with the snob "stiff upper lips" sort of attitude, it's fingers pushing and separating, preparing an aching body to be unrelently, unnerving in its intensity and elating in its tenderness to be ploughed, ready to sow and reap, such a beautiful, long and maddening fat member in such a beautiful body of a man that expects and demands, it feels as big inside as its owner body towering all over me, while he speaks of how good it feels, of nasty words said with the greatest tenderness, with the eagerness to please, to respond and demand answers from a body that up until him, just never enjoyed such pleasures, "let it go" he'll said, and I will, while I get a fix on whatever I can grasp my hands to while allowing myself to enjoy what I wasn't meant to, to let me drive for him to that point that triggers such a rapture, both staggering on the cause of it and the intensity.